Thoughts...

2008 has been a difficult year. It started off just fine but by spring it was already a lousy one.

My grandmother was diagnosed with cancer in May and went from being extremely active with so much going on to not being able to stay up for more than a few minutes at a time. This was such hard news to hear, and harder to see when we went to visit her in Sweden over the summer. I have such wonderful memories of playing with Farmor and Farfar from the time I was very little. We played store and dress-up, made button houses (didn't you?) and played "hide-the-key". We drove to Askersund for soft ice cream after swimming in the lake and ate LOT'S of Farmor's wonderful cookies (at least 7 kinds plus a cinnamon roll and cake - she was always the proper hostess). She has been one of those people that likes to keep busy all the time. Rarely did she sit down to rest, at least when I was watching. I can only imagine how difficult it must be for her, now that she can't do any of the things she has always enjoyed so much. Of course we all get older and one generation passes the torch to the next, but this does not make it any easier to watch your loved ones in pain, knowing that the end is nearing. I just wish I could be with Farmor now. Life is tricky.

The end of October brought the next blow, and this was a big one, as I mentioned previously. Our precious little Emma was diagnosed with leukemia. Imagine the shock! This can't happen to our baby! But it did. And of course we dealt with it. There are a few positive points to make here. If you have to have leukemia, having ALL (the type Emma has) is the one you want. Being 3 1/2 years old is the right age to get it. Also, treating leukemia in a girl takes about 2 1/2 years, while it takes 3 1/2 for a boy. These are all things I cling to. Emma will be just fine. I know she will. We just have to get through the next couple of years. Emma is already doing much better. She is responding to treatment the way she should and she is feeling better every day.

This post is not meant to be a depressing one. What I want to ultimately get across are two things. One, that we are lucky in so many ways and two, that I look to the new year and beyond with hope and quite a bit of excitement.

Let me start with the lucky part. I have a wonderful husband - I can't imagine going through this with anyone else. I think it has made us stronger and for that I am very lucky. We have a wonderful family that supports us - I don't know what we would do without them. We also have incredible friends and neighbors. I have been completely amazed at the kindness and generosity of everyone in my life. Emma has received so many sweet gifts to keep her occupied while she is recuperating. We have received meals when cooking dinner was the last thing I could even think about doing. I have received phone calls, letters and e-mails offering positive thoughts and prayers. I am blessed and I am humbled. The only problem is, how can I every say thank you enough? This must be the perfect opportunity for paying it forward. I am determined to look harder for ways to help and support those around me.

Then there is the hope and excitement I feel. I am so happy that we will be starting a brand new year in two days. I have never been more excited about starting fresh. 2009 will be a good year. Emma will continue on her path to recovery and move closer to being completely cured with every day that passes. We will all do what we can for Farmor and hope and pray that she does not have a lot of pain. We will value family like never before. We will nurture friendships like never before. We will be grateful for the little things like never before. I am hopeful and excited.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!